Glover Thanksgiving 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
From: The Kitchen of Betty Lynn Glover
Hello family! I am happy to reach out to you at this time about our upcoming holiday. As all of you know we have just celebrated the nuptials of my grandson Austen with his new bride Elizabeth in a beautiful and awe-inspiring ceremony. It is on this high that I returned to our family home with lots of ideas. Most of which surrounded our annual get together. This year John's birthday falls on the day after Thanksgiving and I think it's a great opportunity for us to celebrate and really make this one for thie history books!
Of course this sort of thing doesn't just happen on its own. There is a lot of hard work and planning that goes on behind the scenes to make a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. Especially for this family. So I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete our meal. As you know, I always appreciate your offers to assist with meal preparation. This year, however, I think it's time to lead our family into a new era and elevate our holiday.
First and foremost, understand that while I have a big sense of humor just like the rest of you, I could not be more serious with these instructions and requests. Understand, these expectations are not to be taken lightly. If you respect me, you will read your portion(s) of this letter very carefully and and you will perform your task exactly as I have laid out. If you are instructed to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container with a lid, not aluminum foil. If you are asked to bring a serving spoon, you will bring a serving spoon, not a soup spoon. If you are asked to bring something as menial as cups and ice, Miles, you will bring cups and ice and not cash to send one of your kids on a last minute run to the store. This family is having a Thanksgiving meal in which we all contribute, no one is being treated. Except for John.
Now this year I would really like to take a new family photo to replace the one from 2015 which features a few former partners. You should all arrive prepared to have your picture taken. Not dressed to your usual selfie stndards but to mine. Like I said, this is a year of elevation. Ladies, this means no leggings. And gents, no hoodies or ripped blue jeans. Also please arrive by 2pm, no later. Punctuality is of the utmost importance. We will not be playing backyard football this year as it always leads to John getting involved and he is too old for that.
The Miles & Lynn Collins Family
- Sausage Dressing - Lynn, please make your usual sausage and sage dressing, enough for the whole family. Your father expects to keep some of the leftovers. Keep this to regulation sized casserole dishes, as many as you need. Bring baked. Include serving spoon.
- Roasted Root Vegetables - Please make roasted root vegetables in case something happens with the mashed potates. I will call you. At least one regulation sized casserole dish should be fine. Include serving utensils. Keep it savory.
- Baked Brie - Busy has already committed to bringing a baked brie for an appetizer. Please make sure she brings a serving dish and any additional accoutrements she requires. Including a serving utensil.
- Busy's Pie Make sure Busy brings a pie knife for serving! Do not leave the house without it.
- Wine Miles can bring any assortment of wines he prefers for the occasion. White wine will surely go best with turkey. Perhaps chardonnay and pinot grigio from California.
The Catelin Collins Household
- Brussels Sprouts Please bring the braised brussels sprouts with bacon and cranberries recipe you showed me previously. But keep in mind that not everyone likes this vegetable as much as you and I do! Do not feel like you must bring enough to feed an army. Include a serving spoon and a lid.
- Cranberry Sauce Have Justine bring fresh cranberries made with orange zest. Not canned. But I know you would never bring canned.
- That Baby I know you will follow all of my instructions so I am not worried about it at all. Just make sure you bring that baby with you because if I don't see him I'll have to murder your ex-husband. Also, maybe a fruit salad for him?
The Stephen & Evelyn Glover Family
- Appetizers Stephen I would like for you and Evelyn to bring appetizers this year. This includes but should not be limited to the following:
Do not include any shrimp or seafood. I expect you to bring your own serving trays. Please do not bring the over-sized oval try you used from last year.
- A charcuterie board - including prosciutto
- A relish tray with at least two types of olives
- Cheese & Fruit Plate - do not bring brie of any kind
- A veggie tray - not from the grocery store
- A hot dip and a cold dip - each of your choice. No ranch
- An assortment of crackers and pita chips
The Otto Glover Household
- Desserts This year you will be on mostly dessert duty, Otto. Please make sure you bring at least one pie. I will be providing coffee and liqueur for after dinner, so do not feel like you need to include any sort of drinks. Get as creative as you want. Make sure you include a pie knife. Do not leave your house without it.
- Vanilla Ice Cream Bring two half gallons of ice cream. One must be vanilla. The other can be your choice. Additionally bring whipped cream not cool whip.
- A Dish From Sami Sami is welcome to bring any dish of his choice, savory or a dessert. I think it would be delightful for him to bring some sort of traditional fish from his childhood to help expand our holiday and remind us that we live in a melting pot and that is something to be truly thankful for. Especially in our current political climate. I am so excited to taste whatever he has to make!
The Krista Glover Family
- Sweet Potato Casserole Please make your usual sweet potato casserole. Do not experiment. Please make sure you bring it in a regulation size casserole dish with a serving spoon. Also no marshmallows, no matter what John tells you otherwise. He's too old to eat them.
- Stuffed Mushrooms Please bring your famous stuffed mushrooms. However do not overdo it this year. Last year Austen and Otto's eating competition was an embarassment. I do not want to see a repeat of that, especially in front of the two newest additions to our family. I wouldn't want them to make a bad impression on their partners.
- Greenbean Casserole There is a rumor that my beautiful granddaughter Rhonda wants to make a greenbean casserole. Please guide her in making this dish. If it is too much in her condition, call Catelin and she will do it.
The Austen & Elizabeth Glover Family
- Mashed Potatoes Congratulations again on your wedding, Austen and Elizabeth. I am overjoyed that we are able to have a large family holiday so soon after that celebration. That said, now that you are a married man, Austen, you get to contribute at the adult level much like your cousins have for the past few years. All I am asking is that you and your bride bring 15 pounds of mashed potatoes. To keep them warm, I suggest using at least two slow cookers because believe me it will be a lot. But luckily it's not very hard. If you want to get a little creative, how about half traditional and half garlic or rosemary? Make it your own, as this will be your contribution for years to come.
The Jason Glover Family
- Rolls Honestly why do I even bother writing this? I know he is not going to read it. I might as well go to the store and purchase rolls on my own but I know for a fact if I do then he will bring them. Jason I am asking you to please bring at least three packages of dinner rolls from the store. Not Hawaiian rolls. Not hamburger buns. Not hoagie rolls. Dinner rolls. Preferably par-baked but I will take what I can get.
- No beer. No liquor. No guests.
Can't wait to see everyone!